JT: [fed up] Asphalt roofing sucks!

Kent: No roofing is perfect, JT, it’s all in the way we install it.

JT: No, no. It really sucks. There are so many ways for asphalt to fail, Kent. Moisture causes it to blister, thermal shock makes it curl, and they can just blow off–

Kent: [duhhh] I know, JT.

JT: [still disappointed] Honestly, for a material meant to protect your home from weather damage, it’s susceptible to a lot of, you know… weather.

Kent: [duhhh] Yeah, it’s unreliable! That’s why we don’t rely on it. Any of those faults can cause damage to a home, and that’s not acceptable.

JT: [coming to his senses] You’re right. We always dry-in the roof… with underlayment, zip tape, ice and water shield… Everything needed to make sure your roof is the hardest working in the neighborhood. K: By the time we put asphalt on, it’s not because we need it. The asphalt is just… window dressing. We could technically leave it off…

JT: But your roof would look uuug-ly… so we won’t.

Kent: We promise.

Jingle: ***Maven Roof dot com***

Kent: A Maven Roof is a roof with nooo quit.

JT: [jumping on the last line] roof with nooo quit.

Kent & JT: Jinx [slight pause] double jinx, triple jinx [fade out]